I’ve really been working hard at relaxing lately. Yup, I said, “working hard at relaxing.” You’d think that would be a rather easy feat to accomplish, but believe me, it isn’t easy to break a workaholic. However, I did realize that my long hours were becoming unhealthy and so I’ve made some small but important changes that have already made a big difference in balancing out my life. For one thing, I’ve been leaving work earlier–and leaving to go work out or do something else I’ve planned in advance (even if it’s just a plan to watch tv and knit, sometimes that’s enough!). If I put what I want to do on my to do list, it’s a lot more likely to get accomplished and it gives me something to look forward to all day when I’m staring at my to do list at school.

Don’t get me wrong, school itself is not totally unbearable. I love the students (and they drive me crazy some days too) and I like teaching them, seeing their eyes light up with understanding, with pride when they’ve accomplished something. But sometimes I get bored hearing myself say the same thing 6 periods a day! I really don’t know how to change that, but I suppose being a little bit bored is a nice change from being overwhelmed.

I’ve just gone through a period when I swore there was no way I’d teach a third year, but I’ve gone through it to the other side and I wouldn’t mind not having to go through another major adjustment in the next few months. Even though moving home would have much comfort and familiarity, if I’m truly honest with myself, I haven’t lived in Seattle in 6 years now so even that would be an enormous adjustment, especially with all the expectations that ride on “moving home.” However, right now, I’m open to any direction God takes me. Some might see my current state as directionless, but I prefer to look at it as “flexible.” Not that flexibility by any means comes naturally to me. As most of you know me, I am  prone to planning and preparation and care. Yet I feel like a little boat that’s come loose from it’s mooring, drifting slowly. Luckily, the water’s pretty smooth right now. In fact, I’d kind of like it if there were something to rock the boat, to set me in motion, in a direction of some sort. I haven’t heard back from several of the more promising opportunities I’ve applied to and at this point, any answer would be something to push me one way or another.

I feel surprisingly peaceful in this not knowing most of the time, however, I do have my freak-out moments on occasion. Usually Sunday nights or Monday mornings, but sometimes on a bad day or a day when too many friends talk about the future. Whatever I do in the coming year, I cannot avoid transition of some type because close friends of mine will likely leave Houston to pursue their plans and dreams. Yet with all losses, there is also something to gain, something new.

Even now, I’ve started a small group with my close friend Sarah and I’m building new friendships with some great people from my church. It’s tough starting something new so close to the possibility of change, but when I think about it, life by nature is temporal and I have to make the most of each moment. I’m doing my best to trust that God’s plan and purpose may be much larger then anything I could perceive now. Maybe it’s not about these relationships but about something I can learn from this experience. But then again, sometimes you click with people (even if it’s your senior year in college…) and they become lifelong friends.

Much love and thanks to all of you who support and pray for me. I appreciate you all and hold you dearly in my heart.

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